Work in Progress: What I Wish My Father Taught Me

My father was a very intelligent and wise man. I know this now that he is gone and I am old. But when I was young, I only saw him as this demanding and critical man. His favorite question to me was, "What are your plans?" And when I replied for example that I want to be a photographer, he would rip my goal into shreds, laughing derisively. 

"That's a stupid goal, you will never make any money at it, do you know how many photographers there are who are much better than you? Your uncle was a photographer and he spent his life taking photos of weddings. Is that what you want to do? Photography is good as a hobby but not as a profession", he would say. 

He did the same thing with all the dreams that I shared with him. The only worthwhile destiny for me, in his opinion was be to become an engineer. This did not interest me in the least. 

And so I stopped sharing my goals with him and anytime he asked, I would reply, "I have no goals I am going to live from day to day". When I tried to explain to him how devastating his criticism was to me he invariably replied, "I'm only telling you the truth. Truth hurts". 

And so now that he is gone and I have made my peace with him realizing that he only wanted the best for me but didn't have the social skills to say it nicely, I intend to pass his biggest lesson to you, the reader. Make plans and turn your dreams into accomplishments.

Follow me on Amazon to find out when my next book will be available.

Happy New Year! Don't make resolutions, make plans!

Most of us know that making New Year's resolutions doesn't work. Over the years we vow to exercise, eat better, save more money, work harder, quit smoking. But life happens, holidays end and soon other things take away our attention. I believe that we resist making positive changes because it all sounds so negative and a lot like drudgery: diet, exercise, quit smoking. Who wants drudgery? Life is too short for drudgery. 

So, why not make New Year's promises that are fun, easy to keep and good for us instead? Here is how: First, take five minutes to write down a Bucket List of all the things you would like to experience, buy and accomplish. 

For example: 

Fall in love 

Write a book 

Buy a home 

Retire and Travel 

Sail around the world 

Write everything that comes to mind. Keep adding ideas to this list no matter how unrealistic or crazy. Next, go through your list and at the end of each line add the year in which you want to accomplish that goal.

Like this: 

Fall in love - 2025 

Write a best selling book - 2026 

Buy a home - 2027 

Retire and Travel – 2030 

Sail around the world – 2035 

Soon, you'll realize three things. The first one is that you are having fun. The second one is that you want everything now, this year if not this month. And the third is that you'll start sorting out your priorities. For example if you have a good job now, you might focus on making lots of money first and retire in five/ten/twenty years. Or if you don't have a good job and you love to travel more than anything, you decide to take a year off to CouchSurf and do Workaways. Hey, you might even crew on a sail boat in Greece and meet your soul mate while traveling. Finally, post your list where you can see it every day. 

Your assignment for today: Take five minutes and make your list now. Post it where you can see it.

Memoir of a Teenage Immigrant just published!

When I was almost 14, in November of 1964, my family emigrated from Cieszyn, a small town, in at that time Communist Poland, and moved to the big city of Toronto in Canada. Everyone I knew in Poland spoke of America where money grew on trees and anyone could become a president. It was the land of unlimited opportunities and freedom. In Canada, you could criticize the government and wouldn't be sent to a gulag in Siberia. Your neighbours wouldn’t report you to the authorities for listening to the “wrong” radio station. You could travel abroad without going through the third degree with some bureaucrats and then having to leave your family behind so that you wouldn't try to defect. The stores were full of things to buy. You didn't have to wait in line for several hours to purchase toothpaste or toilet paper. You just went to the store and bought them.

Immigrants were welcomed and the majority came from war-torn Europe. After they arrived, they joined communities where they could communicate in their own language. The sixties was the time of great social upheaval. John Kennedy, the president of the United States, had been assassinated the year before we arrived. The Beatles gave their first concert in Washington. It was also the beginning of the second wave of feminism with Gloria Steinem its leader and the birth control pill was becoming widely available. It was the time of the flower children and the sit-ins of anti-Vietnam war protests. It was the time of, ‘Make Love, not War.’ Hippies, rock and roll, and marijuana arrived in downtown Toronto’s Yorkville Village. It was the age of Aquarius and the Baby Boomers - children born after the war. I was one of them.

This memoir describes my life as a new Canadian, the homesickness I felt after leaving the only home I had ever known, and how I adapted to my new life.

Check it out on Amazon.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

As an alternative to Christmas cards, I would like to share with you this article on Astronomy merging with the Biblical Christmas story:

Celebrating Winter Solstice – The Sun is on the Southern Cross

For thousands of years, carvings on temples, cave walls, monuments and artefacts have honoured the sun: bringer of warmth, security, life and light.  As the days grow shorter in the period leading up to the winter solstice, December 21st, the sun appears to stop moving south or north and stays still for three days (in the northern hemisphere) – the 22nd, 23rd and 24th of December. This is the meaning of the word ‘sol-stice’ – sun standing still. To our ancestors this period symbolized the death of the sun god (son of god) and when three days later on the 25th of December the sun started moving again, the sun was reborn – hence the birth of Jesus at this time – the sun god or son of god, the saviour of mankind. It is no coincidence that our principal day of worship is called Sun Day.

The Bible tells us that three wise men came from the east, following a star that led them to Bethlehem to celebrate the birth of Jesus the Messiah.  Sirius is the star in the east, the brightest star in the sky, which on December 24th aligns with the three brightest stars in the constellation of Orion (Orion’s belt). The stars were referred to by many ancient cultures as the Three Kings.

During this three day period, the sun resides in the vicinity of the Southern Cross constellation and appears to ‘hang’ on the cross, hence the story of the crucifixion. However the resurrection of the sun or son is celebrated three months later at the spring equinox when the nights are equal to the daylight (Easter) and when once again the forces of light ‘defeat’ the forces of darkness, and the days grow longer than the nights. (Author: Stella Woods)

“May the long time sun shine upon you, all love surround you and the pure light within you guide your way on.”

Barbara

Swallowing the Anchor

It is a sad day when due to age or health concerns we can no longer manage our boats alone. I received a sudden warning one day a few years ago, while sailing between Preveza and Vonitsa in the Ionian sea of Greece...

Article accepted!

Practical Boat Owner accepted my article, Swallowing the Anchor for their Learning from Experience page. I am thrilled!

My payment will be an original watercolour by Claudia Myatt depicting the scene. It will find a prominent spot on my boat!

Why we read stories

According to Jordan Peterson, we read stories to focus our aim in life more clearly. We try to learn from reading books how to get to our goal of succeeding in life. We all want a life surrounded by friends instead of foes, a life that's pleasant instead of frustrating or dangerous, a life that brings us joy and love. We want to learn how to deal with difficulties. We learn these things from identifying with a hero in a movie,  or a biography, or a novel. This is the purpose of a story. 

This makes the author - you- a very powerful person. 

The most fundamental story is about a multidimensional character aiming upwards. The plot involves some sort of chaos or problem that the hero must surmount to create a life of order. According to the Bible the universe began with the word. Your words determine your life, so be careful of your words. Aim up with love and treat people as if they had value.  This is the purpose of life and this is the goal of most successful stories.

Writing again

I am back in Greece, on board Eidos,  my sailboat, planning a private memoir writing retreat afloat. At the same time, I have some articles that need to find homes, either in sailing magazines or in another book of short stories. After a break while moving from my home town where I spent the winter, it's back to work at least for a few hours each day.

Legacy

As we get older the thought of legacy arises. What are we going to be remembered for? So here are some examples: 

• actors, script writers, movie directors, video game programmers, and similar people - for entertaining us and perhaps teaching us something.

• doctors, nurses, first responders, pharmacists, mental health professionals - for keeping us alive and healthy mentally and physically.

• farmers, gardeners, butchers, beverage producers, clothing manufacturers, truck drivers, shopkeepers - for providing us with healthy food, drink and clothes to keep our bodies strong and healthy.

• builders of all sorts - for providing us with shelter, transportation and communication.

• family and friends and sometimes even strangers - for loving us as best as they could, being kind and understanding, giving us hope when we are down.

• teachers, writers, philosophers, journalists, photographers - for keeping our minds active and teaching us new things about the world.

• politicians, activists, protesters - providing us with something to struggle for or against, and thus giving us meaning for our lives.

Everyone has some sort of a purpose in life and leaves a legacy behind whether they like it or not, whether they are even aware of it or not. 

If you want to leave something lasting, perhaps plant a tree and place a bench underneath with a plaque in your name, write a book, paint a picture, compose a song, knit a sweater, sew a dress, hug a child, build a birdhouse. I'm sure,  someone will remember you for it.

I would like to inspire young people to write, to join a community of writers, and perhaps to change the world for the better in a small way. I would like to show them that with a bit of self discipline, they can overcome difficulties and succeed in their lives. I want to show others that it is never too late to make a positive difference.

Memoir of a Childhood in Communist Poland

When I was a child, my parents and my grandmother told me stories of their childhood and youth. I loved to hear those stories in the evening before bed even though some of them were very sad - their experiences during the Second World War. I now regret that I didn't listen more carefully or ask more questions.

I also regret that I didn't do the same thing with my own children. Instead, I read them stories from books of fiction.

It is much more important for children to learn their family history than stories of some fictional characters. I want to correct this now, so the idea of a memoir was born.

Published March, 2024.

 

Purpose of life

In her excellent book, The Wonder Paradox the American writer Jennifer Michael Hecht offers a concise summation of what I see as my purpose: ‘Finally . . . you strive to hold up your lamp to light the way. For whom or what? You hold up the lamp for whoever lives from light to light, for whoever needs your help with the darkness."

My home town

The well of the three brothers.

I am spending the winter in my home town, Cieszyn, Poland. My purpose here is to finish a memoir of my childhood. It has been a very long time since I was here, but my neighbourhood, the old town  has changed very little in the past 60 years. The memories are trickling in...

Memoir of My Childhood in Communist Poland will be available on Amazon early in 2024.

Another article published

How to build a boarding ramp is in print in the August issue of Practical Boat Owner magazine. 

Don't get it perfect, get it done.

I have dozens if not hundreds first drafts on my laptop and in my notebooks, on scraps of paper, and on my phone. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the unfinished projects. Other times, I revisit one of them in an attempt to revise and edit, so that hopefully I can send it to a prospective publisher and perhaps find some readers.

What is the problem? It is perfectionism and fear of criticism coupled with the creative impulse that has no limit. The creative force is unlimited. What we must do is now and then, stop and turn our left, logical brain on and say to ourselves, "OK, now I will focus on this one project until it is finished and sent on its way." 

According to Jordan Peterson, anything worth doing is worth doing badly. If only my editor agreed!

Inspiration

We all want to be inspired, especially when we try to write a story, or paint a picture, or compose a song. But what is inspiration? 

The word means to breathe in. Breath gives and sustains life. Without it, we die.

When a baby is born, we wait with expectation  until it takes its first breath, often anxiously holding our own as if there were only so much air available.

Perhaps we need something that takes our breath away to inspire us.

Beauty inspires me. Other people's accomplishments inspire me. Also books and movies. Encouraging comments from my readers inspire me.

Similarily to love, we cannot force inspiration. We can only show up and hope that it will find us.

So, show up at your desk each day and pick up a pen or open your laptop. Inspiration, like love is everywhere, you just need to open your heart and eyes.