Coffee With My Cousin

I’m visiting family in Toronto and would like to meet a cousin for coffee. I haven’t seen him for almost a year and look forward to an hour or two of conversation. The problem is that in my imagination we are sitting at a waterfront, outdoor cafe in Greece but it is winter in Toronto so it looks like I will have to compromise a bit.

Nevertheless, it should be a simple matter: do an Internet search for coffee shops near his home - pick one and hop on the streetcar. He lives only about 20 minutes away by foot, but this is December and I didn’t bring my polar expedition suit wiyh me from Greece and my son took the car to work. By streetcar it is a five minute walk, another five minute wait at the stop, three streetcar rides with accompanying waits at each stop and another five minute walk to his house. Total: 20 minutes. Too cold. Besides, I’m likely to pick up a virus riding on the street car. You see, I normally spend as much time as possible in warm climates so my immunity to winter bugs is as low as my tolerance for cold weather. But family is important and blood is thicker than the water of the Mediterranean. Or at least I hope so. Perhaps I can borrow a fur coat from my daughter in law...

So, to pick a place. My cousin’s choice would be the green cafe with organic coffee and wholesome granola cookies while sitting at large communal, wooden table, near his home, which to me means a cold and noisy place where we would need to line up for 15 minutes to pay and then have to serve ourselves from thermos bottles of lukewarm brown mud.

My choice is a macchiato with a to-die-for Tiramisu in a warm, quiet, library lounge of a downtown luxury hotel, that is a 10 minute streetcar ride from me and then a five minute walk underground where it is warm, but for him, this would mean supporting the rich, the enemy. It seems that we have grown apart.

And since this is my invitation, it would only be polite that I do most of the traveling.

Difficult situation. It would seem that I need to open my mind to an alternative way of being, brave the elements, join him in his favorite cafe and focus on the positives such as him being happy while I fight hypothermia every time the door opens.

After about an hour of online searching and reading all the reviews, frustrated, I walk over to the window, pull back the curtains and notice with dismay which slowly turns to joy that overnight it snowed about six inches.

Our coffee meeting was a huge success. We had a lovely conversation by video phone, each with a mug of homemade brew.

...ends

Date

Publisher

Editor

Result

Dec. 10

The Star

Weekend Editor: Alison Uncles

Phone: 416-869-4015

Email: auncles@thestar.ca

Swallowing the Anchor

It is a sad day when due to age or health concerns we can no longer manage our boats alone. I received a sudden warning one day a few years ago, while sailing between Preveza and Vonitsa in the Ionian sea of Greece...

As always, I put on my safety harness and secured the other end of the tether to the binnacle of my sailboat Eidos. Eidos is an East Orient, 32 feet in length, with an encapsulated medium length keel, so she tracks well when the sails are balanced. I usually leave the dock with a reef in the main as a precaution in case the wind is much stronger outside of a protected harbour or anchorage.

That day, the sun was shining, the wind was light and I looked forward to a gentle, two hour sail. After shutting off the engine, I unrolled the 100% jib and set the sails for a broad reach. I relaxed in the cockpit, sipping my coffee and enjoying the view of my surroundings. However, on that day, King Neptune had a surprise for me in store about halfway to my destination. Suddenly, the wind increased and shifted. I had to quickly tack not only because of the wind shift, but also because of a bend in a narrow channel I had been following. As I reached for the starboard sheet which was cleated next to the old-fashioned, not self-tailing winch, I tripped over the short tether that was supposed to keep me safe, and landed chin first on the cockpit seat with legs tangled up in the webbing. I was lucky that I didn't knock myself out, but by the time I was able to stand up and untangle myself, Eidos was getting very close to the rocks near the shore.

I managed to save the boat and myself this time, but decided that I could no longer sail alone. I realized that my reflexes were not what they once were, and it took me longer to react to changing conditions. Also, at nearly 70-years of age, I was not as spry and agile as I once was. Although healthy, I was not as strong either to handle an eight ton boat. Even though I have an electric windlass, the sails have to be managed with brute force and the dock lines secured safely and often quickly.

And so, I decided to take crew with me from then on. The difficulty lies in the fact that my sons live in Canada and can only come to Greece for short holidays, and most pick-up crew don't know my boat or how she behaves. She is also too small to share with strangers. I did sometimes invite young back-packers on board to help with cleaning, sanding, varnishing and shopping, but I was reluctant to venture out with the sails up. And so, I finished that summer by staying at anchor near Vonitsa.

The next two summers I stayed at anchor near Nidri on the island of Lefkada and only ventured out when I had reliable help. And help I needed on another occasion when an unattended boat dragged her anchor and tangled her chain with mine. Luckily, that time some neighbours at the anchorage came to rescue the boat that dragged and to help me get the chains untangled.

The following summer, my younger son helped me sail through the Gulf of Patras and the Corinth Canal to the Saronic Gulf near Athans. My older son came the summer after that with my 14-year old grandson and we sailed again. They are all skilled sailors, so I didn't have to do much on board or worry. But after they left, I mostly stayed put at anchor. Sadly, I am now more and more reliant on crew who come for a week or two to help with a bit of maintenance in exchange for sailing.

This winter, Eidos was in a boat yard, as usual and I am not looking forward to the work necessary prior to launching or spending another summer in one spot. My energy is no longer there to fight changing weather conditions, worry whether the anchor will hold, or row to shore for supplies.

Getting older is not much fun when it comes to sailing, and single handing a boat is never a good idea. Furthermore, Eidos is no longer young either at 44 years, so she needs more and more attention as the years go by. And so, I am beginning to wonder how much longer I can keep her.

How does one decide? I have a friend who spends more time on boat maintenance while living aboard in a marina than sailing. This could also be my choice. Live aboard until "they will have to carry me out, feet first," as my friend says. Others, move back on land and sell their boat. As an interim measure, one could sell shares in the boat to decrease the responsibilities and the costs. After 20 years of ownership, living aboard Eidos, an Atlantic crossing, and many wonderful moments cruising in the Mediterranean, I am not looking forward to making that decision.

Article accepted!

Practical Boat Owner accepted my article, Swallowing the Anchor for their Learning from Experience page. I am thrilled!

My payment will be an original watercolour by Claudia Myatt depicting the scene. It will find a prominent spot on my boat!

Why we read stories

According to Jordan Peterson, we read stories to focus our aim in life more clearly. We try to learn from reading books how to get to our goal of succeeding in life. We all want a life surrounded by friends instead of foes, a life that's pleasant instead of frustrating or dangerous, a life that brings us joy and love. We want to learn how to deal with difficulties. We learn these things from identifying with a hero in a movie,  or a biography, or a novel. This is the purpose of a story. 

This makes the author - you- a very powerful person. 

The most fundamental story is about a multidimensional character aiming upwards. The plot involves some sort of chaos or problem that the hero must surmount to create a life of order. According to the Bible the universe began with the word. Your words determine your life, so be careful of your words. Aim up with love and treat people as if they had value.  This is the purpose of life and this is the goal of most successful stories.

Writing again

I am back in Greece, on board Eidos,  my sailboat, planning a private memoir writing retreat afloat. At the same time, I have some articles that need to find homes, either in sailing magazines or in another book of short stories. After a break while moving from my home town where I spent the winter, it's back to work at least for a few hours each day.

Legacy

As we get older the thought of legacy arises. What are we going to be remembered for? So here are some examples: 

• actors, script writers, movie directors, video game programmers, and similar people - for entertaining us and perhaps teaching us something.

• doctors, nurses, first responders, pharmacists, mental health professionals - for keeping us alive and healthy mentally and physically.

• farmers, gardeners, butchers, beverage producers, clothing manufacturers, truck drivers, shopkeepers - for providing us with healthy food, drink and clothes to keep our bodies strong and healthy.

• builders of all sorts - for providing us with shelter, transportation and communication.

• family and friends and sometimes even strangers - for loving us as best as they could, being kind and understanding, giving us hope when we are down.

• teachers, writers, philosophers, journalists, photographers - for keeping our minds active and teaching us new things about the world.

• politicians, activists, protesters - providing us with something to struggle for or against, and thus giving us meaning for our lives.

Everyone has some sort of a purpose in life and leaves a legacy behind whether they like it or not, whether they are even aware of it or not. 

If you want to leave something lasting, perhaps plant a tree and place a bench underneath with a plaque in your name, write a book, paint a picture, compose a song, knit a sweater, sew a dress, hug a child, build a birdhouse. I'm sure,  someone will remember you for it.

Memoir of a Childhood in Communist Poland

When I was a child, my parents and my grandmother told me stories of their childhood and youth. I loved to hear those stories in the evening before bed even though some of them were very sad - their experiences during the Second World War. I now regret that I didn't listen more carefully or ask more questions.

I also regret that I didn't do the same thing with my own children. Instead, I read them stories from books of fiction.

It is much more important for children to learn their family history than stories of some fictional characters. I want to correct this now, so the idea of a memoir was born.

Published March, 2024.

 

Purpose of life

In her excellent book, The Wonder Paradox the American writer Jennifer Michael Hecht offers a concise summation of what I see as my purpose: ‘Finally . . . you strive to hold up your lamp to light the way. For whom or what? You hold up the lamp for whoever lives from light to light, for whoever needs your help with the darkness."

My home town

The well of the three brothers.

I am spending the winter in my home town, Cieszyn, Poland. My purpose here is to finish a memoir of my childhood. It has been a very long time since I was here, but my neighbourhood, the old town  has changed very little in the past 60 years. The memories are trickling in...

Memoir of My Childhood in Communist Poland will be available on Amazon early in 2024.

Happy New Year! Don't make resolutions, make plans!

Most of us know that making New Year's resolutions doesn't work. Over the years we vow to exercise, eat better, save more money, work harder, quit smoking. But life happens, holidays end and soon other things take away our attention. I believe that we resist making positive changes because it all sounds so negative and a lot like drudgery: diet, exercise, quit smoking. Who wants drudgery? Life is too short for drudgery. 

So, why not make New Year's promises that are fun, easy to keep and good for us instead? Here is how: First, take five minutes to write down a Bucket List of all the things you would like to experience, buy and accomplish. 

For example: 

Fall in love 

Write a book 

Buy a home 

Retire and Travel 

Sail around the world 

Write everything that comes to mind. Keep adding ideas to this list no matter how unrealistic or crazy. Next, go through your list and at the end of each line add the year in which you want to accomplish that goal.

Like this: 

Fall in love - 2022 

Write a best selling book - 2023 

Buy a home - 2025 

Retire and Travel – 2030 

Sail around the world – 2035 

Soon, you'll realize three things. The first one is that you are having fun. The second one is that you want everything now, this year if not this month. And the third is that you'll start sorting out your priorities. For example if you have a good job now, you might focus on making lots of money first and retire in five/ten/twenty years. Or if you don't have a good job and you love to travel more than anything, you decide to take a year off to CouchSurf and do Workaways. Hey, you might even crew on a sail boat in Greece and meet your soul mate while traveling. Finally, post your list where you can see it every day. 

Your assignment for today: Take five minutes and make your list now. Post it where you can see it.

Another article published

How to build a boarding ramp is in print in the August issue of Practical Boat Owner magazine. 

Don't get it perfect, get it done.

I have dozens if not hundreds first drafts on my laptop and in my notebooks, on scraps of paper, and on my phone. Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the unfinished projects. Other times, I revisit one of them in an attempt to revise and edit, so that hopefully I can send it to a prospective publisher and perhaps find some readers.

What is the problem? It is perfectionism and fear of criticism coupled with the creative impulse that has no limit. The creative force is unlimited. What we must do is now and then, stop and turn our left, logical brain on and say to ourselves, "OK, now I will focus on this one project until it is finished and sent on its way." 

According to Jordan Peterson, anything worth doing is worth doing badly. If only my editor agreed!

Inspiration

We all want to be inspired, especially when we try to write a story, or paint a picture, or compose a song. But what is inspiration? 

The word means to breathe in. Breath gives and sustains life. Without it, we die.

When a baby is born, we wait with expectation  until it takes its first breath, often anxiously holding our own as if there were only so much air available.

Perhaps we need something that takes our breath away to inspire us.

Beauty inspires me. Other people's accomplishments inspire me. Also books and movies. Encouraging comments from my readers inspire me.

Similarily to love, we cannot force inspiration. We can only show up and hope that it will find us.

So, show up at your desk each day and pick up a pen or open your laptop. Inspiration, like love is everywhere, you just need to open your heart and eyes.

Passarelle Construction article accepted by Practical Boat Owner

I have great news! My Passarelle Construction article has been accepted by Practical Boat Owner magazine. It will feature in the August issue of the magazine. I can't wait to see it in print.

Here is the teaser for you:

"Cruisers who sail in the Mediterranean, need to be prepared for the Med style mooring, either bow or stern to a dock. to make getting on and off the boat easier, many people use special gangways called passerelles. My 32-foot Ted Brewer designed, East Orient is like most offshore sailboats - high bow and stern, which makes them safe at sea, yet more difficult for boarding. After a visit from elderly guests, I became interested in finding a better way of getting on and off my boat than by stepping on the anchor and climbing over the pulpit. I was delighted to see John Chipps building a passerelle on the dock in Lefkada, Greece where both of us were staying for the winter."

Read the entire feature article in the August issue.

Anyone can become a published author.

Most people have great stories to tell. Even children. I strongly encourage everyone to write down their own stories or your parents', grandparents' and other family members' stories. They say that history is written by the winners, but with a simple and free program, anyone can be an author. Check out the kdp program and become a published author. 
My latest book is now available both in English and French.